Reflections on life transitions, graduating kids, and writing a thesis

Silas was 10 months old when I was elected to Central Saanich Council in 2008. As a work-from-home dad, he attended many committee meetings with me during my first year as a Councillor. He would play and snack quietly under the table at meetings of the Capital Regional District Solid Waste Advisory Committee and the Greater Victoria Public Library Board. He left an impression on my colleagues, a gentle reminder of the next generation impacted by our decisions.

Silas graduated this week. He was an amazing child and has grown into a fine young man. In the early years, we spent a lot of time together, but as my role in local and provincial politics expanded, I could feel the growing strain personally. A year ago (this week), Silas was in the room at the Magnolia Hotel when I announced that I would not seek re-election in Saanich North and the Islands.

I was fortunate to serve as a Member of the Legislative Assembly in the capital city. While many colleagues spent weeks apart from family, living out of hotels and enduring long commutes, I enjoyed the privilege of biking to work. However, despite this proximity, the emotional and physical toll of the job was considerable. Over recent years, several men I grew up with have passed away, exposing sense of loss and a deepening exhaustion and burnout that I had not fully come to terms with.

The turning point for me came from a single question posed by a constituent I know well as I knocked on doors last spring: “Wow, it has been four years already! You got four more years in you?” As a politician on the hustings, my response was effortless—“Of course I do!” But by the time I reached the end of their driveway, the casual questions felt increasingly heavy. Four more years. Four more years.

Silas would be finishing his undergraduate degree. Ella would be graduating high school. Their grandparents would be four years older. Suddenly, adding four years to everything felt overwhelming, and for the first time, I recognized clearly that wasn’t so sure I had four more years to give.

Over the first half of this year, I've worked in the background to complete my Master of Arts in Leadership at Royal Roads University. My thesis, now finished, reflects deeply on my experience as an MLA, the intricate dynamics of Indigenous-Crown relations, the complexities of leadership in this complex space, and the profound emotional challenges of serving in today's toxic political environment.

This week has been marked by milestones: Silas’s graduation and the completion of my thesis. Acknowledging life’s turning points, I have found myself several times reflecting on the last 17 years, weeping with pride and gratitude, sadness and happiness, and in anticipation for the future. I raise my hands in deep appreciation for everyone who have guided us on this journey—wise teachers, thoughtful advisors, supportive colleagues, and most of all, a loving and patient family.

Now, a new chapter begins.